GypsySpirit I was ruminating on something that happens way more often than it should. It should never happen but since we’re all human and we all walk around with our own level of vibrational energy, it’s part of this planet and our human experience. Can’t escape it.
I’m referring to certain treatment, reactions, body language and attitude I get from other women, especially my peers or the ones that think I’m their peer. You see everyone thinks I’m much younger than I am (very grateful for my genes and the health practices that are part of my culture that opened me up to living a healthy lifestyle) and so the ones that think are my peers, are not. I’m older than them. I don’t think them knowing that would make a difference, though.
It was nagging at me and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Here I was in a neighboring Latin country trying to relax and enjoy the beginning of my lifelong dream, which has been to travel the world as long as I can remember. I keep encountering what I now know to be low vibrational feminine energy.
I kept asking myself why does this bug me so much? Why do I let it bother me? Their looks, their body language, their replies with such attitude that say “I could care less about what you want.” This is because I encounter it when receiving a service such as a meal at a restaurant, or getting my hair done or grocery shopping or getting a coffee, etc. It’s almost always- I would say 97% of the time- from a Latina such as myself. It’s so upsetting and makes me feel disappointed, disillusioned, and just plain angry.
You might say “oh you’re making it up in your head.” Not at all. I’ve seen how I’m treated this way and a white person comes right behind me or next to me and how different they’re treated. Or a man. The ass kissing that goes on between brown/black people in service positions and the white people buying those services is incredible.
After asking and asking and suspecting that this ill internal reaction had something to do with childhood experiences (what doesn’t?), the answer came to me through a recent tarot reading. (For my thoughts on tarot and getting answers through it see my post “Tarot as a Tool To Communicate With The Divine.”) In the reading she said I have lived among low vibrational feminine energy all my life. “Low vibrational feminine energy.” What a way to describe it. The Divine pointed out what I’ve been experiencing and reacting so angrily to.
She also said I was about to get out of that and find high vibrational feminine energy in my path. I got to thinking and I don’t even know what that looks like except for my own optimistic outlook of life. I assume that can be considered high vibrational. I’ve never been one to sulk for a long period of time (except for when going through dark night of the soul), or feel sorry for myself or stay in the helpless pool for more than the occasional human moments.
I told my sister I don’t ever look at a woman and have the need to give her a dirty look or a nasty attitude.
What is the purpose of that?
What kind of satisfaction does that give the woman who’s doing it? Sending all that negativity towards another woman and out into the world. It usually begins with the up and down look I hate so much. If you’re admiring my outfit or my “look,” there’s a way to do it in a positive way. If I see someone with an outfit or look that I like I will complement them. I love giving compliments. It makes the other person feel good and it makes me feel good that I sent out such positive vibes.
If you don’t want to be in the service industry, then DON’T BE. If you don’t like people then go train yourself in an industry or career that doesn’t deal with people. I DID! I chose to deal with numbers rather than people. As I got older I realized I am good with people. I was just told over and over again that I wasn’t. I don’t enjoy it but I know how to manage people and their different personalities. I know this because whenever I’ve met new people they like talking to me. They feel listened to and understood. I actually pay attention during our conversation, ask questions and stay engaged. No matter the topic. All people want is to be listened to and understood, not judged.
I will never understand the state of mind one is in to give such negative vibes.
Especially to another woman whom you’re supposed to build up and not tear down. We all know what it’s like to be a woman, to be misunderstood and mistreated. We have enough to deal with thrown at us by the other gender. We should be supporting one another.
I do see that support and encouragement happening more and more now a days. Definitely more than when I was growing up and even more the last decade or so. However, I think we still have a long way to go. We need to model positivity for the younger generation. Although, I think the younger generation is ahead of us. They seem to be more in tune with the need to bring up and support high vibrational feminine energy.
Once I learned about this “low vibrational feminine energy” I felt better about the situation I encounter from time to time. There’s nothing I can do about it. We’re energy and we ARE the energy we’re experiencing and emanating into the world. All I can do is focus on my own energy vibrating at a higher level.
The fact that I don’t do that to other women nor do I let myself experience envy or jealousy of them tells me I’m operating on higher vibrations. Another proof of that is that I would much rather give someone a well-intentioned compliment instead of ruining their day by giving them a dirty look or a rude up-and-down look.
WHYYYY???
Is it because the woman looks a way you feel you don’t? Or she’s wearing something you would like to have? Or does it bother you that she’s in the position she’s in? I can’t help but assume that this has to do with my being able to afford certain things in life. I mean who knows?
Instead I’ll focus on the fact that I’m pretty awesome and I will attract both low and high vibrational feminine energy at any given time. I just hope that like my tarot readings have been saying for over a year, if not longer, that I will find my soul tribe, my soul family, and that that will consist of high vibrational feminine energy.
I can’t wait to see what that looks like.
UPDATE (8/12/22):
I finally took the time to write down the reading word by word. As I listened to it again there is so much more she says about this that is so important.
To whomever this may concern and can help in some way:
“The Three of Cups card also means three feminine energies coming together lifting each other up, encouraging one another, healing from feminine wounds.
We talk a lot about absent fathers when men don’t step up but we don’t talk about when women don’t step up or emotionally absent mothers. Or a mother behaving more like a jealous sibling more than a parent or they’re being very harsh or very critical. We have mean girl energy. The toxic side of femininity. Backstabbing, gossiping, putting each other down, competing with each other. Some of you may have had a lot of experience with lower vibrational feminine energy and it may have left you with some wound; some damage. [and boy have I !]
This three of cups sometimes comes up to tell me you’re gonna heal from those feminine wounds and you’re going to be attracting higher vibrational energy into your life. The kind of women who are nurturing, supportive, healing, encouraging. Building you up instead of tearing you down. Releasing things with your mother, betrayals from women in your life. You’re calling in higher vibrational energies.
Which is significant because if we feel unsafe in feminine energy it can make it difficult for us to receive. Maybe you’re a woman and it’s been very unsafe for you to be in your feminine energy. Because when you were in that softer side of the feminine energy you have had bad things happen. You have not felt so safe. So you may be releasing those traumas and those experiences and remembering that you’re safe now.
It’s safe for you to be SOFT.
It’s safe for you to be FEMININE.
It’s safe for you to RECEIVE.
Just because you’re in that soft energy it doesn’t mean that you can’t click into the masculine energy when you need it. It doesn’t mean that you can’t be in that hard energy when you’re in a situation where you need to be in that energy.
But you don’t have to be stuck in that hard energy all the time. You can embrace that softness. You can embrace that vulnerability. Some of you are healing from this.“
For the full reading https://youtu.be/_naVOUC7_cA
For those who don’t know what it takes to become a teenage mother of one and later of four, divorced, with her own business for over 17 years, and being able to now travel the world. For those who think it just came from one day to the other with no sacrifice at all.
Think again.
Women like me sacrifice a lot. We mainly sacrifice our femininity in this world. In order to compete and just keep our heads above water, we give up on the most precious thing of all. Our femininity. In order to be in the hard, masculine energy required to even be given a seat at the table of what this world calls success. Most of us succumb to the beating we take growing up telling us we weren’t born to do such and such. Who are we to think we can raise children and succeed in the working world? We sometimes hear this from the women who took the same beating their whole lives and gave up on all their dreams. Some of those women think they’re protecting us warning us of all the dangers lurking ahead. Because they too were warned but believed in those dangers so fervently that the dangers manifested into reality. And so, from the well-intentioned women in our lives to the ill-intentioned- and yes, there are many more of those than you realize– we hear how unlikely it is for our dreams to actually come true. How hard it is. How impossible it is. There’s no point so why even try, they say. Over and over and over again. Life is too hard. You don’t have what it takes. You can’t do that. You can’t do this. You can’t do both. That’s too much. You’re dreaming. Wake up. You can’t get that type of job without a degree.
I could fill this blog for the next year with all the things that we’re beat over our heads with as women. From both the women and the men in our lives.
Again, I can’t wait to meet people in higher vibrations around the world.
